Part 1
Hey everyone, welcome back to another 6ixhappening blog post, this should be a good one so let’s get into it.
Matt here reporting to you from the year 2022, hopefully, people had a good new year’s celebration. I know it has been a long time since I wrote a new blog post. This was due to the crazy times we are living in, but I am back with this gem. Today, I want to discuss dating in a 2022 world, of course, pre COVID-19 times assuming we get back to some kind of normal post-pandemic.
Back in the day of our parents and grandparents growing up, dating was a much simpler process than it is in the modern world. Nowadays, things seem much more complicated when it comes to this subject matter. For example, in the old days, some people were introduced to each other through family. I’m aware that in some cultures this still happens; however, it was a lot more common and evident back in the day for everyone else too. It was not unheard of to meet someone at the age of 18 and pretty much stay with that person until you are older and grey-haired. Not that this is a bad thing, I mean if you meet your soulmate then it’s an amazing feeling to spend the rest of your life with them. In today’s day and age, society leans towards equality for males and females. Life is more balanced and less macho than it was back in let’s say even the 80s and prior. Men were supposed to be the providers and the breadwinners, on the other hand; women had the role of housewife, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids etc…. Today, many women are professionals just like men and have high-paying jobs and important positions in the world. As a result, this has created a culture where women feel they do not need a man to provide for them and are happy being independent. I am all for equality and even though some would argue against this, I believe the balance of power shifting a bit is a good thing for all boys and girls growing up in 2022.
Young girls need good role models to look up to that are successful, and to realize being a girl or boy has nothing to do with it. Young boys need to see that women can be authority figures too and people they admire/respect because of what they do for a living, not just because they are mothers, wives, sisters, and so on…. Back in the day, it was expected the man to plan the date, pay for the date, be a complete gentleman and basically do everything by the book to try and win a woman over. Today I see it differently, women have the freedom to plan dates as well with men they are interested in. Paying although still done largely by men as a good gesture is not seen as a must because many women will offer to go halves on a date, or they will outright pay for it themselves to demonstrate their own financial capability. Men were more courteous before because they knew if a lady was not respected, she most likely would not stick around for date number 2. These days, you have guys trying to get in someone’s pants after buying her a drink or 2 at a bar. As kind of a what are you going to do for me now that I took you out kind of deal? Even if a date goes well, sex should never be expected. To me, I always see that part of the date as an if it happens it happens thing. Many factors go into getting it on the first meet up: such as chemistry, type of date, type of woman, if you are her type, atmosphere throughout the date, environment, your confidence/how fun you are, her perception of you/how you make her feel, and your social status in many cases to name a few. Even if a girl is feeling you all the way, sex may not happen until she feels comfortable enough to open herself up to you, literally speaking lol. Patience is key.
As a result of this equality women have with men now in the dating market, challenges have arisen. For example, men don’t feel they have to put much effort in anymore on dates because women are so “empowered” and “independent”. This by no means is a bad thing, however; it does change the playing field a bit and how people view dates and courtship in general. As a consequence of covid and even just in recent times, dating has become a much more digital and online thing. Countless people have chosen to work from home online now and thus, don’t get the chance to meet people in public as was easier to do prior. There are still cases where people meet at the grocery store, bar, library, or bookstore; however, these cases are far and few between now. In this new age of dating, social media and dating apps are what people are using to meet their potential match. Once you have found someone compatible online by talking with them, the decision can then be made to continue the interaction offline or not. Without a doubt, this way of dating favours women because as we all know, guys are not nearly as picky and will usually tend to go with who is available/visually more appealing to them. Females, on the other hand, have much more requirements of men that they will consider getting romantically involved with.
This difference in dating strategy has created a dynamic where women can choose who they want and how they want to date someone. Men have to settle for what they can get, if they don’t put in the effort to portray themselves correctly, more on this below. On these apps, only the best of the best people are chosen. Therefore, many averages to below-average men are not picked and or passed over by women, unfortunately. When I say this, I don’t mean to crap on dudes. Women are just way better at taking pictures and speaking about themselves conveying what they like than men are. Men are simple visual creatures after all lol, this means that if a woman shows some skin here and there, boom! he might already be interested. Males that do succeed on dating apps and in the online world are those who take the time and effort to set up profiles that portray who they are really about. For example, having people take professional photos of you in an exciting backdrop, cooking, working, exercising, at the beach, smiling photos etc…. all these beat generic selfies, basically just showing you are a fun guy, and you like do things. Witty/clever bios can also make a huge difference when attracting attention from the opposite gender. Women have to portray themselves as being attractive and or cute first (aka looks and physical appearance matter to guys,) if they have a decent job or have a fun personality that is a bonus and quite frankly an afterthought for most men when it comes to attraction level. Men will notice what you look like first before getting into what else you have to offer, so if you don’t pass the visual test, he may not care enough about everything else regarding you. For men, it’s more complicated because even though you might be good-looking, how you write or speak can make or break the deal. Women are interested in what a man has going for himself in terms of his career, financial situation, and life in general. Does he have big plans for himself, hobbies, ambition etc….
For men to win the dating app game, they must play to women’s emotions and feelings, it’s what is most important to them. Women want to be swept off their feet and envision themselves doing this or that with their special guy. If a man can figure out how to sell himself and what he has to offer as to make her feel a part of the exciting world you got going on, more times than not a woman will be attracted to him in some way. Another quality that seems to work on dating apps is a sense of humour, the world is such a serious place with many problems. If someone can make others laugh/lighten the mood you are already ahead of the game, it’s also a great way to break the ice and build up some chemistry/flirt prior to meeting up in person.
Now, once people have established there is interest and a genuine connection, setting up a date or a meet-up in a timely fashion is critical. This is because the online world is pretty unforgiving, people have an abundance of options now. If you are being flaky, seem disinterested/too busy, or not putting forth enough initiative to meet up, others may just move on and just like that, ya missed your chance with them. Gone are the days when you are waiting on the same person after they don’t respond to multiple texts or calls. People these days are busy themselves and won’t be bothered if this behavior is shown. It is one thing to flirt and have a connection online; however, entirely different to carry this over face to face. Dating effectively takes skill, planning, game, and effort to see if there is something there worth pursuing. People don’t have time to waste and respecting another person is a huge deal. If a date is flowing well, things should feel smooth, natural, and like time is flying by because you are having such a good time.